Thoughts & Rants

How to Spot an American (in just 4 easy steps!)

Here are some helpful hints and tricks to make it easier for you to spot an American in your everyday life. The best part is, all you need to do is look at what they’re wearing. Let’s get started!

As Drake did, we will start from the bottom. Look at their shoes! Are they wearing…

A. Toms or Sperrys…friggin sperrys…

B. Really intense running shoes, probably bright pink or blue

C. Those tall pleather boots, brown or black.

Next, we will move on to their trousers (not pants lol I’m British now). Are they wearing…

A. American Eagle jeans. Just took at the butt pocket. It says it all.

B. Leggings or baggy sweatpants

C. Actual jeans. Like an actual pair of jeans. Probably medium wash.

It’s probably raining outside! Look at their jacket. Are they wearing…

A. An American college sweatshirt. Probably an east or west coast college. People in the midwest don’t seem to leave.

B. A Patagonia, Columbia, or North Face heavy duty rain jacket that someone would typically wear camping.

C. No jacket at all. They’re trying to beat the weather. They’ll soon find that they can’t.

One last step! Are they wearing…

A. One of those big ass backpacks that college students typically use. Probably again from a company that also makes camping gear. The backpack is most likely holding a water bottle and a carabiner.

B. All of the above

C. A and B

Now we’re here! If you’ve answered A, B, or C to any of the above questions, then they are definitely American. Good luck with that!

-I have gained all of this knowledge just by standing in the Starbucks line on campus. Day in and day out. I think when people think of Wales they immediately think camping and go straight to REI.

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